The Chagrin Cooking Channel

Cooking with Flair

“Chef Moses what do you have for us tonight?”
“Well Tina …”
“It’s Linda”
“Yeah Brenda tonight were cooking something more than a little exotic.”
“Well I’m intrigued. Will it have your usual New Parisian twist?”
“Fuc signal breaks bi… wer…. Ra…

static fills the screen
White noise

“What do you mean we lost the signal? You mean I killed and cooked this bitch and I won’t even get a ratings bump?”

The loss of signal feeds was spread across the entirety of the World of Progress.
This in undeniably linked to the server crash last week.
They can no longer be tolerated.
Despite our recommendations a more public team will be sent.
Dept of cyber-warfare have an asset in place.
One High profile team is familiar with the asset.

That team is under observation. An anomaly exists.

It matters not
TT will be publicly dismantled.
It is Slayers will.

Dept Carrien Affairs

Rover is now in charge of all Carrien affairs on Mort.
He is happy with this.
He’s pleased that his plan for terror attacks on Mort was unnecessary.
He is even willing to accept the loss of his operatives and forgive most of his would be assassins.
Rover will forgive all of them.

Except one.

The Fall of Puritan
The Price of Subversion

A full combat analysis can be seen on the disc provided.
Or for choice edits just turn on your TV, any action channel will do.
That isn’t what you this report is for.
You want my analysis of Squad Frosty. How they handle subversives and there loyalty towards SLA.
Nine months ago I took on the team partially because they made the border list but mostly because the team showed potential. Under the leadership of Sonya Foster the team showed they had drive and marketability but were too self destructive to ever truly advance.
Once Mina Klein took over the team gained the organization it had greatly lacked and they began to get noticed, this is the point where I took management if the squad.

All the events while under Foster have been well documented as they are the reason the Squad was placed on the border list.

For all the BPN’s under Klein and my management please see the mission reports

The recent BPN was their highest profile and most dangerous mission to date.

Slayer himself issued a Platinum BPN to kill the traitor Alana Gallien and eliminate the soft company she had enhanced Puritan Solutions Inc. I was rather surprised when I was instructed to be part of this mission.

After accessing the intelligence on the Puritan Body Armour production facility. I realised why I would be needed. Mr Slayer in his wisdom knew I would have the resources to help make the op a success where as the operatives had the most direct experience with the deluge project suits.

Considering the projected amount of enemy combatants I decided additional manpower was necessary. I chose to eliminate another potential threat to SLA at the same time. Using a squad you had highlighted to me.
The Ever Circling Skeletal Family were contracted by myself to serve as a distraction by attacking the main most guarded entrance while frosty went in the back door.
The Ever Circling Skeletal Family were chosen because I had recently uncovered proof that there leader Dyno had been receiving funds from DN for the past 3 years. The rest of the squad were not directly implicated but I feel we can all agree there sacrifice was worthwhile.

After our initial distraction we split the group in 2. I with my new weaponry and armour would provide an attractive target giving the squad time to locate their main objective.
Thanks to some well placed grenades by Taanesh and Klein the enemy combatant were successfully split focusing on the 2 distraction as opposed to the highly trained team Frosty.

While split up I watched my distraction team get destroyed and then detonated the explosives I made them bring on the mission. I then proceeded to use over a ten thousand credits in ammunition and grenades trying to kill as many of the Puritan members as possible.

Team Frosty at this time encountered Gallien and the final result of the Deluge project the Chimera. They were eventually successful in combat and we all exited awaiting extraction.

Our extraction vehicle was then destroyed by DN. It has since come to my attention that an hour before the mission began Gallien had contacted DN to arrange an alliance and exchange of technology as long as they could get her and her research team off world.

Aware that we were now drastically outnumbered and had spent most of our resources, things looked bleak. My own armour was barely functional and the power supply was about to go offline. Whilst my ammo and grenade had been completely spent. So I activated the timer on my explosive payload.
Then I done something which I know you are not happy with.
I wilfully injected myself with a compound which would stop my heart. Thereby activating my LAD account and summoning immediate extraction and more fire-power.
The squad managed to hold on till the Kill Copter arrived at which point I was rather easily revived.
If I hadn’t activated my LAD and used all the resources at my disposal there is a good chance DN would currently be in possession of the Deluge project.

As for my assessment on the squad, they are undeniably good at there job.

Sonya Foster is undeniably a functioning Psychopath who is doing everything she ever wanted to do thanks to SLA. She has an endless supply of enemies to kill and all the drugs she’ll ever need. She views subversive opponents with a particular disdain barely recognising them as worthwhile adversaries, given the opportunity she will kill subversives in the name of SLA till the end of her days.

Mina Klein in leadership she has come into her own, her tactical awareness and knowledge of her opponents is impressive. She is also genuinely loyal in a way that few human operatives are. I would recommend her as a potential cloak operative if I didn’t know she was already on your list.

Taanesh has just begun to live the life he was born to lead, he is fighting in the name of Slayer. As long as he is allowed to continue we never have anything to worry about.

Russel Brown was a concern of mine for awhile, Al Ravi’s betrayal hit him harder than anyone else on the team. He was devastated by being forced to kill him. Thankfully he has bounced back thanks to counselling sessions he has received at the dark lament chapel. Now he sees Ravi for what he was and is rededicated to the team.

Have a SLA day

Sebastian Roman SCL 4B.3


Operative Roman is to receive commendation for his use of SLA resources.
His recommendations are noted regarding members of the squad.
The anomaly however will be watched.
The anomaly’s file will be transferred, it is no longer a Cloak matter.

Locked File – Truth rating 4

Evidence of Puritan conspiracy recording 49c
Authorisation required

Dr Hansel: I’m sorry, I couldnt stop them they found the location we were moving the suits to.
Content Not Found: alana-gallien You incompetent idiot. Fuck this is bad. We need to stop him now. Maybe I can list a quick bpn and force some ops to shut him down, claim it was some DK stunt then have them killed on another op.
DH: I’m not sure that will work.
AG: Why? Oh no, it wasn’t just the Prime was it.
DH: The fool and his men emptied the Ferine facility.
AG: That’s over 500 suits.
DH: 628 Including the Prime.
AG: He has all of them? What’s his target?
DH: He was muttering about killing a race traitor.
AG: That’s why we enhanced the serials, those suits were for killing ebb users. Your telling me he has a fucking army and he’s not going after Dark Lament.
DH: I have no idea what that man is thinking.
AG: No. Oh fucking no.
DH: Benefactor?
AG: Turn on the TV.
DH: What channel?
AG: Low Wave sex channel of course. THE NEWS YOU MORON!
DH: OK … oh … The retarded mentally defective bastards. FEN! He attacked somewhere with more guns than a war world.
AG: OK there’s no salvaging this my career is over, Karma wont accept any form of reasoning after this. Get the Animus facility into overdrive and make sure the Chimera is ready. Slayer is coming.

Encrypted message from Dr Hansel
Encrypted message intercepted by Cloak

Dearest Benefactor I have equipped many of our more militant members with combat suits and given them the target you suggested.

The Frother population of DT44 is about to be reduced drastically.
The individual targets you listed have been supplied to those in Mantidae suits.

As for the weaknesses of the suits I agree on the measures to address these. The Prime should help us better control the burn out and stabilization issues we are having.

The Krake suits flaws I believe I can correct and make much more combat efficient by introducing a few more strains. I think Thaumoctopus mimicus & Vampyroteuthis infernalis would be perfect additions.

We may however have a problem, one of our best recruiters is aware of the Prime and thinks it should be used. I am attempting to hide its location from him but sadly madmen like him have a lot more sway within Puritan than intellectuals like myself.


Reply from Benefactor.

Hansel firstly well done on the Frothers. All of the targets were eliminated and the massacre should help with recruitment.

More importantly. You better not let that little shit anywhere near the Prime. If that thing is seen in combat its all over.

Encrypted message to Dr Hansel
Hard Lock Encryption

Dr Hansel I am sorry to report that 3 SLA operatives damaged our uptown facility before research could be fully tested.

Fortunately our researchers took care of all the potential witnesses as well as some combat testing of the MKIV Kraken and the MKII Nahuatl armour ranges. The MKI Prime wasn’t activated during this struggle mostly due to a mole. Fortunately my clean up team hid it from any operatives.

I am in the process of dissecting the suits and studying the combat footage, ours and the operatives.

My early reports advice that trained combatants be given the suits in future and not a geneticist.

Unfortunately it would seem you were right about the burnout rate and that the bonding at this time may be irreversible.

I advise continuing the research to make them as instantly combat ready as possible. We’ll work out longevity later.

After all we have plenty of devoted idiots ready to take the leap for us.


Arena News
your source of contract gossip.

Yes the rumors are true, Killraven has returned.
At first everyone thought it was just another copycat, but reports are coming in the man who just won the gauntlet is Elias Killraven the original Killravens son.
Most viewers at home will know him better as the reality star Dr Killraven Feelgood. But apparently he has reclaimed his birthright and done it in a big way.
No-one has done a full gauntlet since his fathers last fights in the coliseum. Dear SLA was it glorously brutal to watch the slaughter.

Watch the replay of tonight at 8 mcst. It’s an instant classic.

Now I’m joined by a rather smug looking Stephan Whorechild leader of the Cult of the Raven.

Stephan this must be a great day for you and your followers today ….

GREY – CLK/3108901/STA/GRY

Kill order for operative REDACTED was more involved than anticipated.

The traitor had fled off world and was hiding on New Paris where he planned to sell stolen company equipment through the New Parisian transport hub.

REDACTED’s former teammates dispatched him after being given his location by a senior SLA official (whose role in this is part of an in house investigation by the chapel).

The former teammates are no longer under investigation for corruption.

Blight Files 1007901
Maniacal laughter can be heard from this file

He’s gone, he’s finally gone.

I can sleep at night without worrying about the bastard trying to sneak into my bed.
The Department is mine. The office is mine. His bitch secretary is MINE, oh she’ll try and request a transfer but that wont be happening any time soon.

Unfortunately it didn’t happen how I planned it, guess I wont need to use that Vevaphon or the gene-modified pig I bought. Or the UV. What the hell am I going to do with a combat pig and that much UV, now that he’s gone. I’m sure I’ll find someone.

Ah yes the Op, The two lovely young Operatives and their Ebon gimp were able to track down the traitor Woe to his production facility, there they eliminated Woe and his feral accomplices with the brutal efficiency I have come to expect from them.

They have been rewarded well for there involvement.

Only one downside though the gimp went rogue and stole something of Woe’s; If its the death-suit creation matrix that woe forged then all of this has just slowed our rivals down. They may be able to recreate death-suits in the near future.

So my first act as head of the Department is to contact Cloak to get a Grey launched.
Who knows maybe I’ll get that piggy in action sooner than I thought.


Operative REDACTED was ordered to kill operative REDACTED due to being suspected of foul play with the death of his squad.
He was successful.

Operative REDACTED’s body will be sent to Karma for analysis to see if the other members of his strain need to be watched or if he was a flaw.


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