The Chagrin Cooking Channel

GREY – CLK/3108901/STA/GRY

Kill order for operative REDACTED was more involved than anticipated.

The traitor had fled off world and was hiding on New Paris where he planned to sell stolen company equipment through the New Parisian transport hub.

REDACTED’s former teammates dispatched him after being given his location by a senior SLA official (whose role in this is part of an in house investigation by the chapel).

The former teammates are no longer under investigation for corruption.

Blight Files 1007901
Maniacal laughter can be heard from this file

He’s gone, he’s finally gone.

I can sleep at night without worrying about the bastard trying to sneak into my bed.
The Department is mine. The office is mine. His bitch secretary is MINE, oh she’ll try and request a transfer but that wont be happening any time soon.

Unfortunately it didn’t happen how I planned it, guess I wont need to use that Vevaphon or the gene-modified pig I bought. Or the UV. What the hell am I going to do with a combat pig and that much UV, now that he’s gone. I’m sure I’ll find someone.

Ah yes the Op, The two lovely young Operatives and their Ebon gimp were able to track down the traitor Woe to his production facility, there they eliminated Woe and his feral accomplices with the brutal efficiency I have come to expect from them.

They have been rewarded well for there involvement.

Only one downside though the gimp went rogue and stole something of Woe’s; If its the death-suit creation matrix that woe forged then all of this has just slowed our rivals down. They may be able to recreate death-suits in the near future.

So my first act as head of the Department is to contact Cloak to get a Grey launched.
Who knows maybe I’ll get that piggy in action sooner than I thought.


Operative REDACTED was ordered to kill operative REDACTED due to being suspected of foul play with the death of his squad.
He was successful.

Operative REDACTED’s body will be sent to Karma for analysis to see if the other members of his strain need to be watched or if he was a flaw.

Potential Recruit part 2
Memo of Sebastian Roman

I met with Taanesh and made my proposal, he accepted as I believed he would. He also wanted a BPN right away like I knew he would.
It’s his hunger for the job that interests me most. His centuries of experience and contacts are pretty much invaluable but the hunger.
It’s like an attack dog who’s been held just out of reach finally being able to slip the lead.

The BPN I gave him was a clever one, a blue bpn suggesting a combat situation in an area that is easily overlooked.
Meaning no be hungry for it and the admin team at slayers crib will ignore giving it out for more pressing matters. Almost always when left long enough these become red, purely due to body count.

It became RED just as Taanesh arrived.

Several locals had taken the drug zombie, this started out as a harmless drug trip. Then they started taking more and more. According to the eyewitness the dealer was giving them out like candy.

Then the inevitable happened. Taanesh arrived about 30 mins after that. He then put down the locals in a timely fashion.

My only real question about Taanesh now is what squad to place him with.

Potential Recruit
Memo of Sebastian Roman

Heard a rumour about an interesting Stormer that had just signed up as a combat operative.
If the rumour is true then he would be a great addition to any of the operative teams we currently represent.
I looked into his first BPN carefully. In downtown sector there was a cable outage and protests had begun threatening to become riots. An everyday blue BPN which some level 10 operatives attended.
Taanesh was one of the quickest to get there. As far as I can tell from the Shiver captains report he managed to stop the area from becoming a warzone by securing a Monarch weapons facility and taking down a riot ringleader.
All in all a good job, he found a threat and neutralised it before it could become an Issue.

Blight Files 0307901
Too many Ferals not enough room in the cabinet

Just after the 2 competent and attractive operatives and their Ebon gimp had received there award we received word that more ferals had been spotted trying there power in down-town.

I issued a red, as did that whiny bitch Dusk.

The operatives actually tried to negotiate. Dusk saw this as futile and left crying about “there was no time to waste” and other soppy crap that I drowned out.

Me I listened.

More money was out of the question. Instead I gave them something much more valuable.
More Information.

The footage I got from this fight was glorious, such carnage such chaos and all in my name. Loved it.
A Feral actually folded part of the building they were in into the street. The ensuing madness will forever be as memorable as the property damage bill. Which now lies on Dusk’s account awaiting the Inquisitors investigation.

He really should get a better password or assistant. That dirty dirty girl.

Now I think time to end this.

Blight Files 0207901

So he has a DU detector in his suit now. To be fair I had overplayed that hand. Was worth it for when his hair fall out.

So our clever little operatives sided with with Dusk. That clever little human with them has decided to play Mummy against Daddy in an attempt to get more SLA-mas presents.

I am intrigued.

So they may have done the BPN in that genderless freaks name but they did track the suits down, and gave some damn right hilarious details about the stupid ferals using them.

1 actually folded himself into the ground another created a blast with himself as the point of origin.
Damn I would have loved to have been there for that.
Ah well the footage will have to do.

Also this time for the meeting Scours pet Ebon turned up looking as broken as you would expect give what happened on Pain.

Ah that was a good night.

Blight Files 3006901

So overseer REDACTED thinks Temperance might be onto something after all. If it works I’m all for more power. Wonder how long it would take me to convince him to use Dusk as a lab rat.

Speaking of Dusk his favourite operatives today stabbed him in his emotionless Ebon heart and choose my wonderful BPN over his.

As a result that bastard Wane is dead and his head is currently holding my pens for me. Dusk thought he might be redeemable even though he had further use to us.
We knew everything he knew.

Now to act on it.

Another BPN perhaps.

Then maybe I’ll put some more depleted uranium into Dusk’s coffee.

Jill watch
3rd eye news Report

… and from the wreckage there was only one survivor a human girl, whose bravery is an inspiration to us all.

but in interesting news Jeromy Losado has an update on the Serial killer called Jill. Jeremy

Thanks Carmen, as many of you know Jill has been slashing her way onto our screens for the last few weeks with her own brand of murder killing people with the things the love most in a very public fashion.

Today however that killing spree ended as a group of operatives set a trap for her using her next planned victim as bait.

Not as bloody as we’d hoped but it’s been a slow day.

Here’s the footage.

Views from the street
3rd eye news quickcast

Hear at ‘Views from the street’ we received a tip from a reliable source that something was going to happen at this little pet shop. Unbelievable I know.

Wait look there 3 operatives driving up to it they look ready for action.

Holy shit what just happened to the pet shop. Is that. Oh fuck it is. That sick bastard is covered in dead kittens.

Quick Jeff zoom in.

Dead kitten armor by flyingdebris

Wait looks like the Frother is a pet lover and not to happy about it.

Wow, did she.

Yeah she did. She stabbed him right in his kitten hating face and killed him.

Wow that is impressive that crazy bastard was wearing Doggybone.

Now what’s the Frother doing. Oh this is priceless. Jeff make sure you get a good angle on that.


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