The Chagrin Cooking Channel

Group Assessment 1
Initial Analysis

Amidst a lot of redacted files I’m able to piece together an interesting history of the operatives.

From there first blue BPN where they fought an oversized sewer pig. They have flirted on the edge of media attention but never quite managing to grasp their potential. They seem to have also taken a Black at some point but had the horrendous misfortune of it being classified and all records ordered sealed (if this could be unclassified however).

Another business package attempted to cash in on this. As a result this has halted the operatives career and destroyed any sponsorship potential they once had.

Within the files, the few that we are able to read. There are a few things to take note of.

First is the operatives seem capable of playing the game, having built relationships with 2 executives in the Jade building (due to a few heavily redacted BPN’s).

Secondly is the Daedalus incident. One of the few black marks on the operatives career, although the blame lies not with them, their BPN can hardly be considered a success. There are a few Karma execs who would see everyone involved in the Low Waves disappearance, disappear themselves. A solution may present itself. Every problem is an opportunity.

The third is the most recent and most alarming. Sonya Foster killed a high level exec (temporarily thank Sla) who was interfering in her inquiries. This has attracted the wrong type of attention to the squad. The fallout means that Sonya was demoted and no longer leads the squad. The tension between the team will be tense now, as the balance of power has shifted. However with a Klein leading the squad, perhaps we will be able to build them to a place where they belong.

My decision is that this team needs a little bit of guidance, the sort of help that was promised to them in the past but never delivered. With it they could become something. Without they may burn out and fade away.

OOO Piggy

Sector 4 Onslaught
Combat Assessment

Nix: OK I’ll be taking your questions in a minute, first of all I’d like to thank all of our operatives who responded on scene as quickly as they did. I’d personally like to thank the shivers who selflessly evacuated the civilian population at the start of the conflict.

Reporter 1: Nix, how many thresher operatives were in the attack?

Nix: Reports are still being updated Bradley, but initial reports indicate that there were over 200 Thresher fanatics present.

Reporter 1: and how many …

Nix: There are no Thresher survivors.

Reporter 1: None at all?

Nix: Preliminary reports indicate our operatives were quite thorough.

Reporter 2: You said the shivers evacuated the civilians at the start of the conflict.

Nix: Yes Chandler. We got an early warning of the attack, that’s how the shivers got so many civilians to safety and why our operatives were on scene so fast.

Reporter 2: and the civi…

Nix: A press conference will be held at 8 this evening with residents of Sector 4. As we speak they are with trauma councillors. Or filling out housing forms so we can relocate them quickly after this terrible tragedy.

Reporter 3: What is the current operative casualty report looking like?

Nix: Presently quite optimistic, thanks mostly due to the advanced combat and healing drugs our agents use in the field.

Reporter 3: any exact figures?

Nix: For a more precise figure Julia I would suggest you watch some of the combat footage of our glorious operatives in action. Here I’ll show you some choice cuts now.

Reporter 3: Nix please

Nix: Roll it.

Close up of a Thresher agent being tackled to the ground. Agent is then slammed in the head with his comrades decapitated helm which shatters under the force of the Blow. The Frother operative the proceeds to beat on the agent till his helm cracks open. Then the Frother in a moment of pure bloody fury gouges his eyes out.

Nix: See a prime example of Sla operatives ruling the day. Ah Julia I forgot how squeamish you were.

Group Assessment 2
Follow up analysis

My initial meeting went as well as could be expected, they were sceptical of my sincerity.

The meeting was cut short by a red alert in down-town sector 4 in which they performed to their full potential. In front of a large media event no less. Getting this team on the right path may not be as difficult as I originally planned.

After the messy contracts business was sorted out, they jumped straight back into work. An enthusiasm I have to admire.

They took a BPN from an old associate by the name of Dusk at the same time spurring the same BPN offered by Blight. An in-house battle I hope will stay that way.

The squad got to work quickly tracking down the lost body of a Feral Ebon who had been removed from the Jade building. Surprisingly the Feral had been resurrected and proceeded upon his old habits where the Operatives tracked him down and dispatched him.

Expense Report by Tina Long (Eidolon)
Explanation of expenditure

As you know from my many previous reports I believed that Daedalus was a talented lone nut. I also repeatedly stated that Karma had ignored all of our intelligence on the subject and decided to enforce there own theory , purely because they couldn’t handle the idea of a small group or even an individual ripping them off the way that had happened.

Well I’m happy to report that thanks to a small BPN I was able to confirm my theories and have Daedalus and the Low Wave chased down.

This was all done at a fraction of the cost of Karma’s fruitless investigation.

Even taking into account the loss of the shiver clean up crew after the Tek Trex attack.

Overall the cost of the operation is easily outweighed by what we gained. Daedalus himself was secured. So now we get to probe that twisted mind of his and find out how he done it all.

I personally can’t wait. He partially reprogrammed a Manchine. I didn’t even realise that was possible. Not to mention the man hours of time we save just by stopping his attacks.

As for the operatives in question, they were a bargain at the price they were even able to ensure that all of my team survived the Tek Trex assault.

Price lists are listed below along with my estimates on the karma operations and projected future Daedalus investigations.

From the desk of Alana Gallien 1
Diary 1

Roman is certainly persuasive I’ll give him that. If his operatives can solve the Daedalus situation then they may be the operatives I’m looking for.

Typical Roman never promising something before he knows he can deliver. The ops were tracking Daedalus down as we were having dinner. Lets see if they can handle the simple matter of a loner scientist with a drug problem, before I send them on the expedition.

Well they found Cahill, sadly already dead, more importantly they found his notes. Now I just have to decide if he’s worth cloning.

Now lets see how good Roman’s pet project is. Sample designated Queller has broken containment. If they survive they are perfect for the expedition.

From the desk of Alana Gallien 2
Diary 2

As expected shortly after I despatched the operatives to take care of the situation the entire area was D-noticed.


Considering the amount of information they had they done well.

From the desk of Alana Gallien 3
Diary 3

I sent them after the Krell we believed to be in CS3, I half expected them to report it was a myth half expected to hear them die over the comms and have to send in a team of stormers.

Instead they took down the Krell with relative speed and efficiency, securing more of a sample than I expected. Operative Foster even volunteered to be a carrier of the laughing death to help our analysis.

I have to concede Roman was right.

Views from the street
3rd eye news quickcast

Hear at ‘Views from the street’ we received a tip from a reliable source that something was going to happen at this little pet shop. Unbelievable I know.

Wait look there 3 operatives driving up to it they look ready for action.

Holy shit what just happened to the pet shop. Is that. Oh fuck it is. That sick bastard is covered in dead kittens.

Quick Jeff zoom in.

Dead kitten armor by flyingdebris

Wait looks like the Frother is a pet lover and not to happy about it.

Wow, did she.

Yeah she did. She stabbed him right in his kitten hating face and killed him.

Wow that is impressive that crazy bastard was wearing Doggybone.

Now what’s the Frother doing. Oh this is priceless. Jeff make sure you get a good angle on that.

Jill watch
3rd eye news Report

… and from the wreckage there was only one survivor a human girl, whose bravery is an inspiration to us all.

but in interesting news Jeromy Losado has an update on the Serial killer called Jill. Jeremy

Thanks Carmen, as many of you know Jill has been slashing her way onto our screens for the last few weeks with her own brand of murder killing people with the things the love most in a very public fashion.

Today however that killing spree ended as a group of operatives set a trap for her using her next planned victim as bait.

Not as bloody as we’d hoped but it’s been a slow day.

Here’s the footage.

Blight Files 3006901

So overseer REDACTED thinks Temperance might be onto something after all. If it works I’m all for more power. Wonder how long it would take me to convince him to use Dusk as a lab rat.

Speaking of Dusk his favourite operatives today stabbed him in his emotionless Ebon heart and choose my wonderful BPN over his.

As a result that bastard Wane is dead and his head is currently holding my pens for me. Dusk thought he might be redeemable even though he had further use to us.
We knew everything he knew.

Now to act on it.

Another BPN perhaps.

Then maybe I’ll put some more depleted uranium into Dusk’s coffee.


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